2 DPO & the 2 WW

Here we go again! The wonderful 2 WW.

I had my IUI on Wednesday and other than being almost 20 minutes late because of terrible traffic & rain (my doctor is about 15 miles away) and my doctor almost walking in on me undressing - twice in 2 minutes - everything went well.

The IUI happened about 39 hours after trigger which is not too bad. I would have preferred to trigger a little later on Monday night than I did, but it was bowling night so I had to trigger before bowling. I've triggered in restaurant bathrooms and on vacation before, but I really didn't feel like trying to trigger in the bowling alley restroom between turns!

I've felt some nauseous-ness since the trigger and on ovulation day I had some really bad cramping going on which is pretty unusual for me. Usually I feel a pang and that's it but it was so bad that night I couldn't even try again with DH, we had to wait until the next morning. ; ) Maybe that's a good sign, I don't know.

Speaking of signs, I am determined to not obsess during this 2 WW as far as trying to pay attention to every little sign to figure out if I'm pregnant. I know from the last assisted cycle that it doesn't mean anything until you miss AF and/or get a positive test. So I'm trying my best to just keep busy and not think too much about it. Luckily at this time of year between work & holidays it is easy to keep busy. We'll see how easy it is in a week!

Quick Update

Hi all! Things have been super busy for me this past week. It's the busiest time of the year at work and I've been working 11 hour days and with doctor appointments and errands to run it hasn't left me much time to write.

On CD 6 last Wednesday things were looking good. My right side was just so-so but I had a few follies on the right side that were between 6-8 mm. So I continued 100 IU until my next appointment on Saturday (CD 9) and I saw the alternative doctor that works when my doctor is out. He doesn't always say how big the follicles are but I could tell from the u/s monitor that I had at least 2 on the left side that were looking really good and he did say that this cycle seems to be progressing really well.

So I took another 100 IU on Saturday and 75 on Sunday. I triggered tonight and Wednesday morning (CD 13) is the IUI.

I am feeling pretty good about this cycle so far, it is already progressing pretty nicely and not too fast like the last assisted cycle. 8 days of stims growing nice & slowly should give me a pretty good chance this month!

I'll write more later in the week after the IUI. I am hoping that as this week goes on work will lighten up a bit. I am really looking forward to that because I am trying to be as stress free as possible, I need all the help I can get!

A new cycle and more

Had my Day 1 on Friday, right on time although I didn't really expect her to show for another day or two. My doctor's office wanted me to come in Saturday (CD 2), probably because they were trying to avoid Sunday appointments. I don't think I've ever gone in that early for my baseline u/s but that was fine with me, the sooner the better.

When I went in, Dr. RE started talking to me about IVF and said that ages 35-38 are getting up there in the high range of people with the best chances. I said "I know and I have a birthday in February so I don't want to wait too long." We agreed that if this next cycle or two doesn't work, it will be IVF in the Spring. We then started talking about costs a little and during this time he was doing my scan. (Funny how after so long of doing this I don't even pay attention to the giant wand in me while I'm talking!) He said he saw some fibroids "creeping up" but that they weren't too big and aren't in my cavity.

I can't even begin to tell you how aggravating it is that I have fibroids growing again. I knew there was a chance some would start growing again within 5 years of my surgery, but I would have never guessed that it would take that long to get and stay pregnant and that I would have to deal with that again. The one comfort is that they aren't in my uterus and hopefully wouldn't cause any problems with a pregnancy as long as they don't get too much bigger. Women with fibroids have babies all the time, I just hope to minimize how many I have or how big they get.

Which means I have to get back to exercising - fibroids HATE exercise and that is definitely one thing I haven't been doing lately. Too much work and travel lately but I can't use that as an excuse anymore, I have to make myself as important as my job and friends & family.

Anyway, other than that everything looked okay and I took my first injection tonight. I'll take 100 IU every night until my next appointment Wednesday morning.

I am going to stay as confident and upbeat about this cycle as I can. I need this to happen for us soon, I'm ready!

Forecasting..

I know I haven't written much lately but it just seems like I don't have much to say when I'm not cycling. Plus this is the busiest time of year for my line of work - HR - and after working 9-10 hour days every day, I don't feel like typing on the computer anymore quite honestly!

Ironically, we are going through open enrollment right now and I am trying to figure out which medical plan I should sign up for in 2010. Ugh! How am I supposed to know what is going to happen? I could get pregnant before the end of this year but who knows if it will be viable? What if I do IVF in the spring? I know how much my doctor charges for IVF but at this point I still have no idea what meds I may need to be on, how much they may cost, if they will be covered by my insurance, etc. What if that doesn't work, will I do an FET cycle?

I do a lot of forecasting at my job but how am I supposed to forecast what the next year will hold for me when the past 3 years have not been what I expected?

I guess all I can do is educate myself as much as possible and hope that I don't have to pay as much money out of pocket as I have had to in the past because of unforeseen procedures.

For anyone out there that has done an IVF cycle, what type of meds have you been on and how much did it cost you? (If you don't mind telling me)

I have about another week before AF shows up so I'm sure I'll be posting again soon!

The Definition of Insanity

It was a no.

AF arrived on 12 DPO this past Saturday, on my 5 hour drive to Chicago. Wonderful! I'm not going to lie, I was really disappointed but I couldn't really show it with friends and family since they wouldn't understand and would just give me that pity look and the look that says "I don't know what to say". So I just tried to forget about it all and have fun in the moment. And I really did have fun, it was easy to not think about it for a little bit.

Then on Monday night I kind of got upset and irrational and ended up getting sappy about my frustration of this not working. I felt like I had held it in for 2 days so it was good to let go and DH really sympathized and said he felt the same way.

And now I've been working 10-11 hour days this week but I guess that is good because it gives me something else to think about for a little while.

So I'm taking this month off to re-group and give my ovaries a rest, but then I'll start another injection cycle in November. I'm only going to try 1 or 2 more inject cycles at the most and then start talking about IVF for 2010. There's that old saying about how the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same results. So if 3-4 inject cycles don't produce at least a BFP, I'm on to bigger and better (and more expensive!) things.

Oh, the joy of infertility.

Weepy & Waiting

Yesterday I kept feeling naseous, dizzy, and shaky when I didn't eat. Once I ate I seemed to feel better, at least for a little while until I was hungry again. Today I am not hungry at all and I am super emotional, wanting to cry at every little thing.

Today is 10 DPO/IUI and NO spotting so far which could definitely be a good sign. (Last inject cycle AF showed up on 10 DPO, spotting started 2 days before that)

However, another part of me is determined to NOT start thinking I am pregnant because I don't want to be disappointed. Like I won't be diappointed anyway!

We will see what the next few days hold. I'm going out of town to attend my neice's first birthday party and being around all the kids will be nice. But I know that if I'm not at least spotting by the weekend that part of me will think really positively and I just hope I don't get my hopes up too much for nothing again. Then again, that's part of this entire process, isn't it?

I am going to try to hold off on testing until Monday but don't think I can hold off much longer than that. Two weeks is long enough!!

7 DPO - halfway!

Well, it's already been a week since the IUI and only 1 more week (or less) to go before I find out if this cycle worked or not. We had the IUI last Monday morning and got in plenty of trying before and after, plus DH's numbers looked really good - 99% motility and 46 million after wash and a grade 3 - one of the better looking numbers we have had in awhile which is good.

Since at least 2 DPO (maybe even 1DPO?) I've had sore BBs which is a really good sign since that is what happened to me last time I got a BFP. Plus, on 3 and 4DPO I was extremely tired, wanting to take a nap during work and I did take a nap the one night after work, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. On 4 & 5 DPO I was extremely grouchy/moody too which could either mean that AF is on her way or that something else is going on...

We'll see - if AF is going to come, she should be showing her face in the next few days since she usually comes very early on injects, between 9 & 12 DPO. I am going to test next Monday if she hasn't shown by then, which is 14 DPO.

So, only a week to go. Waiting really is the hardest part of all of this!